At the end of the day, your wedding is a PARTY!  Your guests have all arrived from near and far, dressed in their finest attire, and are here to celebrate your wedding.  Make it a fun and memorable occasion for them, and one they will remember for years.  Here are a few ideas to entertain them.  Let’s get the party started!

The head table could be served their food with pomp and pizzazz.  The wait staff can organize themselves in a line, one for every guest at the head table.  Ask the DJ to play the song “HOT HOT  HOT” quite loudly.  Each staff member will carry the plate of food, covered with an attractive cloche chafing dish, and make their way, in a line, through the venue, meandering among the tables, and finally stand behind their assigned head table guest, wait for the cue from their superior (who is at the back), place the dish in front of the guest from their right.  Then, waiting for another cue, they lift the cloche chafing dish off dramatically, being careful not to knock over any wine glasses.  They then turn altogether, and all exit the head table the opposite way they came in, and return to their back stage work and serving assignments.

All the tables can have names of songs.  When the song is played, the guests at the table can all get up, rush to the dance floor and show the audience how to dance to the song, and encourage the rest of the guests to join in.  Songs like “The Locomotion”, “The Chicken Dance”, etc.

A large crossword could be placed near the head table, where guests can come up and circle the words they find.  Words can be specifically related to the new couple.  Perhaps a secret message can be revealed, once all the words are found.

Each table can sing a song to the Bride and Groom.  Perhaps each table can also assign a spokesperson, and give the Bride and Groom some good marriage advice, or ways on how to cope with stress – from their own experiences.  The tables could take turns throughout the evening.

To keep things interesting, the emcee could have different questions about the young couple or guests that the other guests can answer.  A Spin the Wheel, can be turned by the person who gets the correct answer.  The Spin the Wheel can have instructions like “The Bride and Groom kiss”, or any other appropriate activities such as – Moonwalk back to your seat, Sing a verse from a love song, Toast the Bride and Groom, Your table to make an animal sound, Toast or give advice to the Bride, etc.

A raffle could be up for grabs.  Every guest gets a raffle ticket.  Throughout the evening guests could earn extra raffle tickets by doing interesting things.  Perhaps every guest could be given a name of a famous couple taped to their back.  They must find their spouse by asking others questions about the identity of the mysterious person, to which others can only answer with yes or no.  Once they have found their significant other, they could get an extra raffle ticket each.  Perhaps interesting facts about guests in the room could be given, and others need to find that guest and be rewarded by an extra raffle ticket.  Certain guests, who would be carefully picked for appropriateness, can courageously do what they do best and entertain the audience in their own way, for an extra raffle ticket.

When the guests are clinking their glasses with silverware, pull out a name of a guest from a bowl/basket and get them to sing a song with “Love” in the lyrics (they may be joined by their table or a friend), or “Kiss by Example” choosing his or her partner to kiss in a way they would like the Bride and Groom to kiss.  This could also give a guest an opportunity to wish the couple well, say how they got to know the couple and share a funny story, or give some personal advice on marriage.  He or she could also request all the guests to stand up and toast the new couple.

The Shoe Game is a popular game that is often played at weddings.  The Bride and Groom are seated back to back in the middle of the dance floor, holding one of their own shoes, and one of their spouse’s shoes.  The maid-of-honor, best man, or a guest reads out “who” questions about their relationship (i.e. who does most of the cooking, etc.) to which both the Bride and Groom must raise the shoe of the person who best fits the answer.

Who gets the beautiful centerpiece at their table?  There are many ways to achieve this.  Musical chairs can be played to music and the last one with a chair wins.  The couple who have been married the longest at each table wins.  Using an item, i.e.  a napkin, a shoe, a coin, $ bill, or watch, play the hot potato game to music, where the person who is holding the napkin, etc. when the music stops, is out.  Continue until there is only one person left holding the item.  The couple whose anniversary is closest to the new couple’s Wedding Day.  The emcee could also ask a question, like “Who is carrying a picture of their mother-in-law in their wallet?” and is the first to provide proof is the lucky winner at each table.  Simon Says could be played with the DJ playing a song, and the last person to weather the game standing gets the centerpiece at each table.

To honor all wedded couples, the new couple could ask all married couples to join them in their last dance.

The PARTY is over!  Hopefully all your guests had the time of their lives, and will remember YOUR wedding for all of time, as will you!

Cheers!

Congratulations on becoming engaged and taking your relationship to the next level.  The future can’t be more exciting!

As you are now well on your blissful journey to your dream destination of marriage, you must take a moment to reflect on how serious this covenant between two people is.

Marriage has become a contractual binding of individuals since the 12th Century.  Vows are taken and are expected to be adhered to unconditionally until “death do you part”.   However, life happens, and curve balls are thrown from left field.   Stressful situations happen, good and bad decisions are made – both planned and on the fly.  Problem solving skills are tested on a daily basis.  How strong your bond will be depends on your versatility to adapt to the situation you finds yourself in, and how much you are willing to invest your time and effort into making it work.  Jumping ship is the easy way out.   But – none of this will happen to you, of course, since at this moment you are on cloud nine, and everything is fairytale perfect.

Before you take the big leap into the land of matrimony and all its scary legal implications and assumptions, you must have this talk with your beloved fiancée/fiancé.

1.  The MONEY talk.

No one wants to talk about your individual finances – it is so unromantic.  Nevertheless, it is the leading cause of divorce, trumping even infidelity.  Yikes!  Talking about the money subject will address issues such as:  how are you going to pool your money together, how are you going to spend it, on what, what are your short-term and long-term goals, are there any surprising and outstanding debts that each of you should be aware of?  Are you a spender or are you a good money manager?  Who will be the person in charge in regards to money entering the household?  The most important thing is that you agree on financial goals.

2.  How you ARGUE.

Yes, there will be arguments, unfortunately.  Oftentimes when people argue, there is a pattern.  Being consciously aware of these patterns will help you deal with them and get over them successfully.  Generally there toxic patterns, where one makes a demand and the other withdraws into submission, or there may be criticisms and words which are used to offend the other.  Laying the issues on the table and resolving them cordially is a good action plan for a comfortable and yet unforeseen future.

3.   How you understand PERSONALITY.

Every marriage will go through periods of stress and hardship where one’s needs or goals change, or when one person wants to grow in ways that the other doesn’t.  Remember that change is a constant in life and nothing ever stays the same.  You must believe in each other and know that each of your personalities is malleable and will be compliant in negotiating needs for the good, and betterment of the marriage.

4.  Ideas about PARTNERSHIP.

Marriage is a partnership.  How is this going to look like?  Who is going to do what?  Are duties going to be drawn along traditional lines, where one partner is focused on one thing, and the other partner focuses on another responsibility, even if you are both working?  Or a more egalitarian relationship, where you both agree to pitch in where it’s needed.  Will there be children?  How many?   Is adoption an issue?  Will you socialize together as a couple, with mutual friends, or will you continue as you did in your single life, with separate socializing circles and living on parallel tracks that sometimes connect?   What is important to you that the other must accept – is it travelling, hobbies?  Being forthright and honest with your partner about your own needs, and having the other’s blessing makes one more independent, more willing to take risks, more resilient to failure, and more willing to switch gender stereotype roles – whatever works.  Knowing that you have each other’s back and that you can truly count on each other for support through both good times and bad makes you the power couple.

5.  Your CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES.

Your history is important.  Whether your childhood was perfect or less that perfect, it may come to haunt you in your marriage.  It can imply different attachment styles.  You may be prone to hide your feelings:  push people away, keep secrets, and shut down when others show emotion.  Trust can be a concern.  Responding appropriately to the other’s feelings can be a struggle.  Everyone comes with baggage, but hopefully you can overcome these issues, and work them out together and create a healthy and happy relationship, whatever that means to you.

6.  Raising CHILDREN.

How are you going to raise your children when they come along?  Are you going to have strict rules, strict bed times?  What school are you going to send your children to?  Or are you going to study up on what’s best for your child by reading modern child rearing books, and co-parenting as best you can.  Are there cultural customs that your children must abide by?  Are religious practices and beliefs something your children have to be a part of?  Who will stay home with the children?  Or will there be a nanny, or a babysitter?  Who will take them to their hockey games, ballet lessons, etc.?  Perhaps one of you already has children – how are you going to make them a part of your new union?  Children add both a challenge and a blessing to a marriage.

In conclusion, it is very important to talk about all these topics, so that you are better prepared entering into this legal bond.

In marriage, you will encounter many more unforeseen obstacles that will challenge you in ways you never thought possible.  You will gain experience as you go along, but will be a life-long learner.  No one can predict the future.  According to Statistics Canada, 40% of all marriages fail.  90% of marriages fail after the loss of a child.  Life is very precarious.  Do the best that you can.  Weather the storms together.  Enjoy the good times.  Always be totally honest with each other and be each other’s best friend.

May this new chapter in your life be filled with joy and love!

Best of luck!

Sincerely,

Love’s Breath

website:       www.lovesbreath.net

e-mail:         MDBachlow@hotmail.com

As a couple you have many decisions to make together. Planning a wedding together will present you with numerous challenges and considerable hurdles to overcome. Your creativity and patience will be tested, as will your ability to agree and disagree on certain matters. The type of wedding that you will have is solely your choice. Often your budget will dictate how simple or elaborate it will be.

Most couples want their wedding to be unique and remind their guests of them – their likes, colors, pastimes, favorite songs, places, shared interest, culture, or the season or month of their wedding. The invitation cards should subtly set the stage as to what type of wedding your guests are invited to.

A good theme will compliment the ceremony and add interest to the celebration. Themes should be meaningful to both of the couples, and be quite easy for the guests to perceive and participate in. A theme should never be an imposition on the guests – as coming dressed in period clothing would be. Guests want to enjoy an experience and not be burdened by it. A theme may be incorporated into every aspect of the celebration, from the attire to the food and to the decorations, including place cards, programs, table centerpieces, wedding cake, etc. Take care not to overdo it and distract from the fundamental ambience of the occasion. Less can be more. Be aware that candles with an open flame are not permissible in most venues, due to them being a fire hazard (although flameless led candles can be a good and safe substitute). Strong scents can pose a health risk to some people with allergies and make them very uncomfortable. Ensure that confetti or rice throwing is permitted at the venue, since it can create quite the mess to clean up. Don’t put real flowers in your wedding cake, for they may contaminate it.

The sky is the limit for themes. If you are choosing a color theme, you may consider some of the following: All-White Wedding, Lilac and Grey Theme, Gingham A Go-Go, The Ultimate Blue White Wedding Theme, A Pretty Pink and Gold Lookbook, Classic Luxury Red and Gold Wedding Theme, Paradise Found, Cosmic Love (with a night-sky theme), Navy and Fuchsia, The Ultimate Power Couple (monochrome twist – black and white or a varying tone of one colour), Glamorous Stripes, etc.

If you are choosing a season or month of the wedding theme, some of the following may be of interst: Pumpkin Patch, Oktoberfest, Winter Wonderland, Spring Fling, Summer Lookbook, Winter Lookbook, Candy Land Christmas, etc.

Perhaps you want to create a historical period or era: Medieval Times, 1920s, Eighteenth Century, Modern Times, etc.

A recreation of your favourite place: old library, life’s a beach theme, country garden, first date, woodland camp, etc.

Quirky themes that are special to you both, such as: Pizza Party, School, Board Game, Superhero Wedding Theme, Lego Land, Fairy Tale Wedding Theme, etc.

Create and name that theme so it is meaningful to you both. It will surely be a memorable experience for your guests.

Queen Victoria set the stage at her 1840 wedding by wearing a white bridal gown. White came to signify joy rather than virginity, and is now considered an appropriate color for all brides, including those marrying again. White, in many of its’ hues and pastel tints, is still a conventional and long standing choice for bridal gowns, but other colors are just as acceptable. The ultimate decision about the color belongs solely to the bride.

The bride’s shoes are traditionally satin or peau de soie, that are dyed to match the gown. Comfort is of utmost importance. It’s OK to wear low-heeled shoes, sandals, etc. which are hidden under a long gown anyway. The Wedding Day is a long day, so it is important to be comfortable.

Gloves can enhance the overall look of a wedding dress. Gloves range in fabric from cotton and soft kid to satin and lace and should complement the wedding gown. When considering the length and type of gloves to be worn, keep in mind that short, loose gloves can be easily removed by the bride and handed to the maid of honor during the ring exchange ceremony. Tight or long gloves can be trickier to remove and can cause unneeded stress. Finger-less gloves are another option of solving the ring-finger problem.

The traditional jewelry worn by the bride on her Wedding Day is classic in design and neutral in color, such as a pearl or diamond-and-pearl necklace and earrings or simple gold ornaments. Colored stones, heirloom family jewelry, jewelry gift from the groom are all acceptable and should not distract from the bride’s overall look. Ultimately, the bride has the final fashion statement in regards to jewelry. However, if this is an encore wedding for the bride, she should not wear any engagement or wedding bands from a previous marriage.

The Engagement Ring

An engagement ring is given to a woman to signify never-ending and immortal love. It also symbolizes a commitment to a life together. The engagement ring should never be worn until both the bride and future bridegroom are legally free to marry.

An engagement ring is not always required for one to be “officially” engaged. An engagement ring can be purchased later in the marriage when the couple can afford it, or it can be a romantic way to celebrate a special wedding anniversary.

An engagement ring can be new or antique. It can be purchased from a showcase or it can be custom-designed.

Traditionally, the man selects and purchases the engagement ring on his own, and the couple choose the wedding bands during the engagement period together (unless the engagement ring already comes with a wedding band).
Caveat emptor (let the buyer beware):

– If the ring is to be a surprise, ensure that the ring is capable of being sized. It is often better to buy the correct size of ring. (If the bride’s ring size is unknown – discretely ask those close to the bride, as long as they can keep it a secret.)

– Always make your purchase from a reputable and knowledgeable jeweler. Look for certification by the American Gem Society. Also, invest or borrow a loupe to see the metal engravings on the ring yourself. Don’t take the salespersons word for it. If buying a diamond, bring an ultraviolet light with you. A real diamond will appear a bluish color. Get everything in writing – sizing, repair and return policy.

– If buying a ring from an antique dealer – be extra careful to make sure you are getting what you are paying for. Examine the ring carefully with a loupe and ultraviolet light. Get everything in writing, including certification of the type of gem and material the ring is made of.

– Insure the ring immediately.